Sunday, April 25, 2010

Can someone get me a band aid for my life?

I'm watching paint dry.
No Really! I'm literally watching the paint dry.Why is that the paint dries faster if you drip it on the floor than it does on the cabinet door you're painting?  In what universe does that seem just?

Hello,my name is Lisa and I'm selling my house, kind of sounds like I need a 12 step program doesn't it?         Why am I selling my house? Well, lots of people have asked me that question and here's my answer:
Because my baseboards need cleaning. *wink* Come on now you know that's the only time they get cleaned.
  The real answer is, I am trying to give my two girls a better life, by giving them back their mom. I'm a single mom who works two jobs and tries to do the best I can by them ,but sometimes that's just not enough. So I am selling my cute little house and, I am going back to school. We are moving to a small town (lower cost of living) where my folks live (bonus: a father-figure in their lives) in hopes we all can spend more time together. .
             I am doing all of the work myself. Do you wanna know why?

Because I enjoy stressing myself out!

No, I do! It's my favorite! I'm not the kind of gal that hires a cleaning lady and calls the realtor... OH NO! I make lists! Lots of lists. I can do it all! I can sell the house myself too! Hey, I think I can do it all in a month! Who needs to eat, sleep or shower?

My favorite cousin in the whole world laughs as I tell her all of my schemes for preparing the house. I never change the channel from HGTV (love Design to Sell), my poor kids, are covered in paint speckles constantly, it's easier to go to Home Depot and tell them to match the paint on my arm than to remember the name of my "market friendly" paint color!! {Was it bamboo stillness or white luxury?}

I have learned every superstition for selling a house the web has to offer. Where can one buy a St Joseph or a Fung Shei map? Seriously? Do people really do those things?

So, she wanted me to share my tales of woe ......ummmm  er I mean  adventure with you, her loyal followers. Insane? yes she is, I mean really who am I?.Who wants to hear me whine? After all she has no choice, She's family, she has to listen! So, I hope you don't mind while I humor her!

OK back to my cute house. I live in an affluent suburb of a big city, the house would probably sell itself. But  having a creative bone, I can't leave well enough alone! So far I have painted the three bedrooms, two bathrooms, the half-bath was fine, and the basement, basement stairs and railing.
  Pardon me for a minute while I tell you a little bit about painting cinder block. It's. not. fun. Oh it sounds like a great idea, you know, brighten the space up, show the buyer what it could look like finished...It's a nightmare to paint,  And it's very messy! Don't think you can paint it all in one day either. Not. gonna. happen. And wear long sleeves when you do paint: It hurts getting that paint off of the little hairs on your arms!  OUCH Can someone get me a band aid???
  Painting the stairs is a joy (please read that with sarcasm!) I figured out if you paint one side first it works out better......Well it works out better for you, not so much for the cat whose litter box is in the basement. I'm just sayin...

So kitchen cabinets were next on the list. I have a small but efficient kitchen so I figured painting the cabinets would give me the biggest bang for my buck so to speak! Wow! What I have done so far looks great but I think when I go to bed at night, the cabinets multiply! Just let me tell you, the paint with primer already in it has been Heaven sent! I started out cleaning, sanding, priming, priming, painting until I found the paint/primer combo! The Heavens opened up and the choir sang! Well, I sang!

The kids are afraid to go into the kitchen for fear of getting paint on them. It's everywhere! Plus, no one can find a dang thing. The drawers along with the doors are on the dining room table. So where have we been eating dinner you ask? Well in front of the TV of course, just like every family in America! It'll all be worth it when the house sells, right? Please tell me I'm right!!!

And in between each coat of paint I am packing......and packing, where does all this stuff come from? You know what "they" tell you to do:

De-clutter, De-personalize and destroy your back carrying heavy boxes to the garage. How does ONE de-clutter while ONE is still living in the house with two kids, a dog and a cat? Especially if ONE is a collector of stuff? We have had a yard sale to get rid of the stuff. We will need to have more since I just went yard-buying...FYI this is the opposite of selling your stuff at at sale, its the act of buying more stuff at someone Else's yard sale :)

Well I guess it is time for me to get off my butt and put another coat of paint on the doors. I'm sure Shantaie will want an update once the house is up for sale.Please leave me a comment ,If anyone of you have sold your house on your own, I would love to hear your helpful hints and how you lived through it! You did live through it right??? Please tell me you lived through it!!!!

Thanks for reading! Time go to finish the kitchen!
 What's next: Staging!

Happy painting, Lisa


Anonymous said...

That was a funny article, thak you for sharing Lisa. I especially found it funny because I grew up around painters and engaged to one too. When I paint, people ask if I got "any" of it on the walls? It gets in my hair,on my rear, and my guy always gets a giggle when he finds it on my nose. My friends say I have a paint addiction, darn Home Depot clearance paint rack (in the back), but it's all good. I use it for for art projects.

joyduvall said...

Too funny! I have painted cinder block ... you should wear a hat too getting the paint out of your hair is no picnic ... You could end up bald! I think it is awesome - going back to school, what will you study? Fine Arts?